Much has been written about George Washington, our first American president: his command of the Continental Army, his leadership in the fragile birth of a new nation, and his presidency.

But less attention has been paid to Washington the person, the private Washington, whose conduct set a standard that may be even more urgently needed today.

At a time when public life is too often defined by bitter attacks, cruelty on social media, hostile protests, and an “us versus them” mentality, Washington’s example offers something more enduring than politics. It offers a model of character.

Having just celebrated America’s 250th anniversary, this is a fitting moment to refresh, reset, and remember Washington’s Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior. These rules were not merely instructions in manners; they were and continue to be a code of self-discipline and conscience, grounded in respect, restraint, humility, honesty, and concern for others.

Five rules are especially worth remembering:

1. “Every action done in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present.”
   Respect is not simply something we claim to believe. It is something we show in how we treat the people around us.
2. “Speak not when you should hold your peace.”
   In an age of instant reaction and public outrage, restraint is not silence. It is judgment.
3. “Let your conversation be without malice or envy.”
   Civility is not just politeness. It requires us to resist cruelty, resentment, and the temptation to diminish others.
4. “When you speak of God or His attributes, let it be seriously and with reverence.”
   Washington understood that words carry moral weight, especially when they touch on matters of faith, principle, and public trust.
5. “Be not hasty to believe flying reports to the disparagement of any.”
   In today’s language, do not be quick to believe or spread rumors that damage another person’s reputation. Ethical conduct requires fairness before judgment.

And finally, Washington’s rule that best captures the moral foundation beneath all the others:

“Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.”

This may be the most important rule of all. Civility begins with conscience—the inner voice that reminds us not only what we have a right to do, but what is right to do.

Of course, writing about ethical conduct carries its own obligation. It is not enough to quote Washington or call for a more civil public life. I need to practice what I preach. With that in mind, I offer the following advice to myself.

Jim’s Rule (that he must judiciously attend to.): Be not belligerent toward others without cause, conscience, or restraint.

While it may sometimes be necessary to point out the defects, failures, or misconduct of others—especially in critical times—let it not be done hastily, too often, or with belligerence. Let criticism be guided by truth, fairness, and purpose, not by anger, spite, or the pleasure of attack.

Ethical conduct requires that even when we challenge others, we do not lose command of ourselves.