By all appearances, we are becoming less the land of the brave than the land of resentment. Every day is Groundhog Day: same arguments, same anger, same search for a way out.

Disagreement becomes resentment, resentment turns to anger, then contempt and sometimes hate.

I’ve had plenty of disagreements with friends, colleagues, readers, and people whose politics are nothing like mine. Some were thoughtful. Some… not so thoughtful.

What I’ve learned is that disagreement usually isn’t the problem. It’s what we turn it into, and what it can turn us into. It’s no longer enough to say, “You’re wrong.” We decide they’re ignorant, manipulated, or silent. We label before we listen, and once we do, it becomes easier to dismiss anything they have to say.

I’ve caught myself doing it: listening for the flaw in someone’s argument rather than trying to understand why they believe it. Sometimes we become so certain of our own position that we stop being interested in anyone else’s.

Certainly, there are beliefs and actions that demand opposition. Civility should never become an excuse for silence when people are being harmed or truth is being deliberately distorted. But there is a difference between moral clarity and moral contempt.

We seem to understand that distinction in other parts of life. We can compete hard, want to win, even dislike losing, and yet still respect the person on the other side.

Watching the Dodgers play Cincinnati recently, I noticed something I had seen countless times. A player reached first after a great hit. He and the opposing first baseman exchanged a few words. They smile. Laugh. It’s fun.

Different uniforms. Different teams. Same desire to win.

I saw the same thing in the U.S. Open men’s final. After the final point, Alexander Zverev and Ben Shelton met at the net, embraced, exchanged a few words, and smiled. Later, they praised each other’s performance.

These are fiercely competitive men. They fight for every point, every victory. Neither expects the other to surrender. And neither confuses respect with weakness.

But they understand something we seem increasingly willing to forget: The person on the other side is an opponent, not an enemy.

That’s more than good sportsmanship.

It’s how we keep from losing our humanity.