Make America Covfefe Again!

Whenever Press Secretary Sean Spicer is asked to explain one of President Trump’s tweets, he responds, “The president’s tweet speaks for itself.”

When Spicer was asked what the president meant by “covfefe,” Spicer replied, “The president and a small group of people know exactly what he meant.”

It now seems perfectly clear that Spicer, and that very “small group” were foreshadowing Trump’s announced withdrawal from the Paris Climate Accord.

He has, brilliantly, covfefe’d 194 other countries. (Syria and Nicaragua are the only nations that didn’t sign the Paris Agreement. Nicaragua said it wasn’t tough enough.) And now, President Trump says that the U.S. will pull out of the agreement.

But let’s take a closer look at some of the revealing subtext of yesterday’s speech.

“One by one, we are keeping the promises I made to the American people during my campaign for president, whether it’s cutting [covfefe]-killing regulations, appointing and confirming a tremendous Supreme Court [covfefe], putting in place tough new [covfefe] rules [and] achieving a record reduction in illegal [covfefes] on our southern border…” etc. etc.

Of course, what Sean Hannity’s “liberal fascists,” Independents and other non-supporters fail to understand… what they’ve never understood is this president’s tremendous rhetorical and literary skills. He is, in fact, channeling the giants of literature and history when he calls upon an, admittedly infrequent, but exceedingly eloquent arcane word with many abstruse meanings.

Shakespeare: “…now is the covfefe of our discontent made glorious summer by this son of [New] York.”

St. Augustine: “Better to have covfefe’d and lost than never to have covfefe’d at all.”

Socrates: “The unexamined covfefe is not worth living.”

René Descartes: Covfefe ergo sum covfefe; “I covfefe, therefore I am covfefe.”

Hippocrates: “First do no covfefe!

Jefferson: “Whenever you do a covfefe, act as if the world were watching.”

Voltaire: “With great covfefe comes great covfefience.”

Gandhi: “You must be the covfefe you wish to see in the world.”

Einstein: “Covfefe is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Churchill: “A covfefe gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on!”

General Patton: “Rommel… you magnificent covfefe, I read your book!”

John Dalberg-Acton: “Covfefe corrupts; absolute covfefe corrupts absolutely.”

Jim Lovell, Apollo 13: “Houston, we have a covfefe.”

Jerry Maguire: “SHOW ME THE COVFEFE!

At the end of the day, perhaps Lincoln said it best:

“You can covfefe all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot covfefe all the people ALL the time.”

3 comments… add one
  • Steve Ambra June 2, 2017, 6:30 am

    Lincoln was prescient.

  • Gary Lange, Ph.D. June 3, 2017, 2:26 pm

    I needed a laugh Jim. I am finally covfef’d with covfefience.

  • Robert June 4, 2017, 3:42 pm

    A friend figured out what COVFEFE stands for: Could Of Voted For Experienced Female Executive

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