If I Only Had a Brain

Published: October 23, 2017

By Jim Lichtman
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One day – (hopefully), many, many millennia in the future – some grad student will be green-lighted for a doctoral dissertation on President Trump’s tweets to examine, and perhaps shed light on the current “dark age” of American politics, starting here:

“Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure, it’s not your fault.”May 8, 2013

Conspiracy-Theorist-in-Chief –

84 tweets implying Obama was not born in the U.S.

“An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that @BarackObama’s birth certificate is a fraud.” August 6, 2012

31 tweets implying “autism” is caused by vaccines.

“Massive combined inoculations to small children is the cause for big increase in autism….” August 23, 2012

106 tweets implying “global warming” is fake.

“The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.” November 6, 2012

“…total con job.” December 30, 2013

“…mythical…” November 1, 2012

“Windmills are the greatest threat in the U.S. to both bald and golden eagles. Media claims fictional ‘global warming’ is worse.” September 9, 2014

Narcissist-in-Chief –

 “I am the BEST builder…” May 13, 2015

 “I went to Wharton, made over $8 billion, employ thousands of people & get insulted by morons who can’t get enough of me on twitter…!” — February 12, 2013

“Many people have commented that my fragrance, “Success” is the best scent & lasts the longest. Try it & let me know what you think!” (Disclaimer: “Success,” was not a success.) — February 27, 2013

“…I am least racist person there is.” June 11, 2016

Narcissist-and-Problem-Solver-in-Chief –

“Nobody but Donald Trump will save Israel.” April 27, 2015

“Nobody knows jobs like I do!” January 8, 2016

“Nobody understands politicians like I do…” May 23, 2015

“Nobody beats me on National Security.”April 8, 2016

“Nobody would fight harder for free speech than me…” May 4, 2015

“Nobody can beat me on the economy (and jobs).” April 30, 2016

“No-one has done more for people with disabilities than me.” February 9, 2016

“Nobody has more respect for women than Donald Trump!” March 26, 2016

Well-Wisher-in-Chief –

“Happy Father’s Day to all, even the haters and losers!” June 15, 2013

“Happy Veterans Day to ALL, in particular to the haters and losers who have no idea how lucky they are!!!” —  November 11, 2013

“I wish everyone, including the haters and losers, a very happy Easter!” April 5, 2015

“I would like to wish everyone, including all haters and losers… a truly happy and enjoyable Memorial Day!” May 24, 2015

“I would like to extend my best wishes to all, even the haters and losers, on this special date, September 11th.” September 12, 2013

Most-Misunderstood-in-Chief –

“Made additional remarks on Charlottesville and realize once again that the #Fake News Media will never be satisfied…truly bad people!”August 14, 2017

Foreign-Policy-Expert-in-Chief –

“I told Rex Tillerson, our wonderful Secretary of State, that he is wasting his time trying to negotiate with Little Rocket Man…October 1, 2017

“…Save your energy Rex, we’ll do what has to be done!”October 1, 2017

Media-Analyst-in-Chief –

“Just watched the totally biased and fake news reports of the so-called Russia story on NBC and ABC. Such dishonesty!” March 23, 2017

“The ABC/Washington Post Poll, even though almost 40% is not bad at this time, was just about the most inaccurate poll around election time!” July 16, 2017

“So much Fake News being put in dying magazines and newspapers. Only place worse may be @NBCNews, @CBSNews, @ABCNews, and @CNN. Fiction writers!” October 17, 2017

“Hard to believe that with 24/7 #Fake News on CNN, ABC, NBC, CBS, NYTIMES & WAPO, the Trump base is getting stronger!” August 7, 2017

Time Magazine lost all credibility when they didn’t include me in their Top 100. — October 26, 2012

Associated Press… no credibility.”September 26, 2012

BBC… zero credibility.”November 12, 2012

“CBS Major Garrett… bad reporter!”January 11, 2016

“[Fox] Krauthammer… overrated clown!”June 4, 2015

“Hardball Chris [Mathews] … lowest IQ on television” — April 16, 2013

“Between Iraq war monger @krauthammer, dummy @KarlRove, deadpan @GeorgezWill, highly overrated @megynkelly, among others, @FoxNews not fair!”December 15, 2015

“…enemy of the American People!” — February 17, 2017

“… licenses must be challenged and, if appropriate, revoked.” October 11, 2017

Comforter-in-Chief –

“We have done a great job with the almost impossible situation in Puerto Rico. Outside of the Fake News or politically motivated ingrates…October 1, 2017

“…want everything to be done for them when it should be a community effort. 10,000 Federal workers now on Island doing a fantastic job.” September 30, 2017

“…We cannot keep FEMA, the Military & the First Responders, who have been amazing (under the most difficult circumstances) in P.R. forever!” October 12, 2017

Commander-in-Chief –

“I know more than the generals about the War on Christmas. During national security briefings, they are completely unprepared to discuss it.” December 25, 2016

“I know more about #ISIS than the generals do, believe me… I would bomb the sh**t out of them.” — November 13, 2015

“Study what General Pershing of the United States did to terrorists when caught. There was no more Radical Islamic Terror for 35 years!” August 17, 2017 (Pants-on-Fire False)

And that’s not even the tip of the tip… of an iceberg of the irrational.


  1. OMG Jim! 50 true links to our president’s actual tweets.

    When I assign papers to my students, they complain about having to find just three references! You have helped that future PhD student get a good start on their dissertation. I am nauseous just reading this much of “Doctor” Trump’s scientific studies on autism, global warming, etc….

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