If a year can be summarized with one word it might be entitlement: entitled to ignore the facts; entitled to change the law in order to suit your own religious beliefs; entitled to own assault weapon(s) and high-capacity magazines; entitled to ban all individuals of a particular religion from entry into the U.S.
Let’s dispense with the easy ones first.
Ben Carson, GOP Presidential Candidate/Historical Expert –
“My own personal theory is that Joseph built the pyramids to store grain.”
“I think the likelihood of Hitler being able to accomplish his goals would have been greatly diminished if the people had been armed. I’m telling you, there is a reason these dictatorial people take the guns first.”
Memo to Ben: The Second Amendment has never and will never be repealed.
Donald J. Trump, Demagogue-in-Chief –
The only candidate to ruthlessly attack members of his own party, and… voters before they vote, and… people still love this guy!
On Sen. John McCain: “He’s not a war hero. He’s a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.”
On Carly Fiorina: “Look at that face! Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?!”
On Ben Carson: “He said that he’s pathological and he’s got basically pathological disease … I don’t want a person that’s got pathological disease.”
On Rand Paul: “I never attacked him on his looks, and believe me, there’s plenty of subject matter right there.”
On Iowa Voters: “How stupid are the people of Iowa?”
Kim Davis, Religious Expert/Legal Scholar –
Married four times, Rowan County, Kentucky clerk “overturns” Supreme Court ruling by refusing to issue same-sex marriage licenses.
“I started in January after I got elected. I wrote every legislator and every senator that we have in our state while they still had time to get legislation on the floor for this year, begging them, beseeching them to get legislation on the floor to protect clerks like myself and many other who had religious objections and moral conflicts with this issue. I got one response.”
“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.” – Mark Twain
Still time to resign, Kim!
Rachel Dolezal, Black/White !?! –
Now, ex-president of Spokane, Washington NAACP lied about being black.
“I identify as Black.”
Ultimate punishment: Disowned by blacks and whites.
Starbucks’ Red Christmas Cup –
Criticized for not including Christmas imagery.
Social media said it best: #ItsJustACup
Paul Ryan, newly elected House Speaker –
On Trump’s plan to ban all Muslims from U.S.: “This is not conservatism. What was proposed yesterday is not what this party stands for, and more importantly, it’s not what this country stands for. …
“I told our members this morning to always strive to live up to our highest ideals, to uphold those principles in the Constitution on which we swear every two years that we will defend. That’s why we are here and that is why we are going to stay here and do the people’s work.”
The Force Awakens!
Bernie Sanders, Democratic Presidential candidate –
“It is incomprehensible that drug companies still get away with charging Americans twice as much, or more, than citizens of Canada or Europe for the exact same drugs manufactured by the exact same companies.”
“Do the elected officials in Washington stand with ordinary Americans – working families, children, the elderly, the poor – or will the extraordinary power of billionaire campaign contributors and Big Money prevail? The American people, by the millions, must send Congress the answer to that question.”
Sadly, commonsense comes in last… again!
Larry David, Sanders Impersonator Extraordinaire –
“Eh, not a fan of the banks. They trample on the middle class. They control Washington. And why do they chain all their pens to the desks? Who’s trying to steal a pen from a bank? It makes no sense!”
Nailed him, Larry! We need humor now, more than ever!!