“Here are today’s contestants:
“He’s the millionaire Utah Senator who ran for president and lost… say hello to… Mitt Romney; she’s the 20-year Senator from Maine, Susan Collins. And finally, she’s the freshman Wyoming Representative whose father once served as vice-president… say hello to… Liz Chaney.
“And now, here’s the host of Jeopardy… Alex Trebeck!”
“Thank you, Johnny. One announcement before we get started. Due to time constraints, there’s only one category today and that is… (Bing!) … ‘Hypocrisy, Plain and Simple.’ The winner of today’s game will have his or her seat ‘most in jeopardy.’
“It was determined before the game, that Senator Collins would begin. Good luck, players; here we go.”
“I’ll take Hypocrisy for $100, please Alex.”
“Answer: He’s the Florida Senator who criticized Clinton’s response to Benghazi, then after President Trump’s call asking Ukrainian President Zelensky to investigate a Democratic rival, he said: “I don’t think that’s a real request.”
“Who is Marco Rubio?”
“I’ll take Hypocrisy, for $200, Alex.”
“Answer: During the Benghazi hearings, this Congressman — now personal lawyer for President Trump — said, “The notion that you can withhold information and documents from Congress no matter whether you are the party in power or not in power is wrong. Respect for the rule of law must mean something, irrespective of the vicissitudes of political cycles.”
“Who is Trey Gowdy?”
“Correct. You have control of the board.”
“Hypocrisy, $400, Alex.”
“Answer: He’s a Republican author and moralist who criticized Democrats for not calling out President Clinton, but after the Mueller report was released said this about President Trump on Fox News: “…that wouldn’t be obstruction of justice… The executive power rests with the president. He can do what he wants.”
“Who is Bill Barr?”
“Who is Rudy Giuliani?”
“Mitt doesn’t want to take a chance. I don’t blame you. The answer players, ‘Who is Republican author and moralist, Bill Bennett.’ Bill Bennett said that on Fox News. Okay, back to you, Liz.”
“Hypocrisy, $600, Alex.”
“Answer: He’s the Kentucky Senator who agreed with intelligence reports that Russia meddled in the 2016 election, but has not called for a vote on a House bill preventing Russia and others from doing it again in 2020.”
“Lindsey… excuse me… Who is Lindsey Graham?”
“No! Mitt or Liz?”
“I know who it is, Alex, but if I tell you I could lose a future bid in the Senate.”
“Okay players, time for Final Jeopardy. So, make your wagers. And here’s your clue: This man recently blocked both documents and access to State Department officials but said this when he was part of the Benghazi investigation: ‘Our goal is quite simple: it’s to get every single fact that we can. Every document, every witness…’ ”
“Okay, we’ll begin with Senator Collins of Maine. And you wrote: ‘Who is Lindsey Graham?’ with a smiley face. No. that’s incorrect and it will cost you… well, you didn’t lose anything, because you didn’t have anything to lose, Senator.
“We now come to Representative Liz Chaney, who wrote: ‘I know the answer, Alex, but if I tell you I could lose a future bid in the Senate.’ And you bet nothing. Ooookay.
“Sadly, ‘Profiles in Courage’ is not the category today, players.
“We go now to Mitt Romney, and Mitt came up with… ‘Who is Mike Pompeo,’ the correct answer. And what did you risk… He risked it all, folks and Mitt Romney is our Jeopardy champion!
“Good job, Senator. I just hope you’re wearing a bulletproof vest in the Senate, tomorrow.
“Thanks. We hope you’ll tune in tomorrow when our category will be: “Top Ten Things Lindsey Graham said about President Trump.”
“The game is over, Senator Collins.”
“If this had been today’s category, Alex, I would’ve killed it!”