Pants-Gate

 

This just may be the most explosive story of the last… 8 minutes!

Men, right now, as I write this, my pants, you’re pants could be lying to you!

“Come on, Jim. You’ve lost it, this time!”

That’s right. You heard me correctly. You’re favorite ol’ blue jeans, DockersCalvin Kleins and others could very well be brought up on ethics charges.

Abram Sauer, writer for Esquire Magazine, just blew the lid off of what the industry refers to as “vanity sizing.”  Think you’re a good ol’ 36 or 38-inch waist, think again. Sauer brought a tape measure into the dressing room of several men’s stores and tried on several brand name pants. His findings:

Alfani’s 36-inch ‘Garrett’ pant was 38.5 inches,” Sauer writes, “just like the Calvin Klein ‘Dylan’ pants… Dockers, meanwhile, teased ‘Leave yourself some wiggle room’ with its ‘Individual Fit Waistline,’ and they weren’t kidding: despite having a clear size listed, the 36-inchers were 39.5 inches.”

What the heck is the world coming to when you can’t even trust the size in your favorite pair of pants?

In measuring what he believed to be a 36-inch waist size, Sauer found the following “re-sizements” to the following popular brands:

A 36-inch H&M pair of pants actually measured 37-inches.
A 36-inch pair of GAP pants measured a whopping 39-inches!
And Dockers, (my old standby) came in at an unbelievable 39.5-inches!

However, the biggest offender of all… Old Navy.  (I never trusted them, anyway.) Sauer writes that he “easily slid into a size 34 Dress Pant.” However, “the final measurement…fiveinches larger than the label!”

Outraged?  You bet!

Just when you think you’re eating better, working out harder, watching all the indicators, whamo, you get knocked right on your 39.5-inch-waisted butt.

Looks like my favorite jeans are just another stone-washed lie.

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