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BREAKING:

Grammy winner, pop icon and covert government operative, Taylor Swift, is secretly working with Rabbit Pizza to inculcate billions of Swifties as part of a broad political scheme to rig the 2024 election (just like they did in 2020). In cahoots with current boy toy and Kansas City Chiefs linebacker Travis Kelce, Taylor is planning to install other celebrity icons in strategic positions in the government by issuing coded messages to current federal officials to resign in her songs at the Super Bowl halftime.

But Swift is not scheduled to perform at half-time, you say? That’s what the deep state wants us to think.

Right now, Swift and Kelce are coordinating their actions with Sherman Oaks, California apartment dweller, actress, and weather storm guru Danielle Langlois predicting an ARKStorm of such Biblical proportions . . . well, let’s just say it involves an a big boat (Genesis 7). While Americans are focused on climate crisis, Swift and Kelce will make the switch at the highest levels of the government. Bruce Springsteen will replace Antony Blinkin. Supreme Court justice John Roberts will be swapped out for Christopher Lloyd. And Madonna will replace vice president Kamala Harris.

How do I know? I read it on X, whose sources say that Swift will be a surprise guest performer who will hypnotize millions of U.S. voters to rig the election in favor of Joe Biden, the details of which have not yet been discovered.

Why is it that some people feel so isolated, so fearful, and threatened that they turn to conspiracies seeking safety? How come these folks don’t believe in something positive, like “the U.S. economy added 353,000 jobs in January, and the unemployment rate clocked in at 3.7 percent, according to new data released Friday by the Labor Department,” or that U.S. farming is a big success.

In my day, the big conspiracies were Elvis (the other one, not Costello) and Amelia Earhart were still alive; conspiracies not even close to being believed by millions of Americans.

Social media was meant to connect family, friends, and coworkers, to communicate, share information, and stay in touch with one another, not used as a conduit of misinformation and hate.

When history is written—and it’s being written now—2016 through 20-whatever–will be labeled as the Trump/Conspiracy era meant to turn American against American.

“Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” was a fairy tale, not a road map to replace reason with insanity.

Wait, JUST BREAKING:

I just got a notice from SnapChat that Swift is NOT the surprise Super Bowl half-time guest. Elvis will holographically appear singing a coded message that last week’s game between the Kansas City Chiefs and Detroit Lions was RIGGED! How do I know? I just connected with a die-hard Lions fan who emphatically said, “The only way the Lions could have lost was if the game was rigged. Did you see the way my boys played in the first half? Seventeen points up, and they lose in the second half. Rigged. BIGLY!”